You all know me as Corey’s cousin, Justine. Being that my cousins and I spent so much of our upbringings together, we all consider one another siblings. Each of us shares our own bond with one another and I feel compelled to share about the bond I had with Corey.
It’s completely exciting and wonderful each time we’re able to gather all of us together, but as children that was amplified. Our home away from home was Grandma and Grandpa Espinosa’s house where there was the sandbox, a playroom, the pool, and various hazardous swing-sets, farm, or trailer hardware; not to mention dozens of trailers to play inside of. Still, it was a nirvana for any child and being closest in age to Corey, he and I spent almost every single weekend there growing up.
I never missed out on an amazing childhood is an understatement. Corey and I spent many days creating core memories together having adventures. He always supported my career goals to the very end. Since I was a child, I wanted to be an actress more than once. Corey wasn’t just Ron AND Harry so I could be Hermione (with British accents if you could imagine), but he was also Hansel once when we played Hansel and Gretel. Believe it or not, I asked my grandma to be the witch and despite the endless fudgesicles, popsicles, or chocolate milks that we often consumed there, it wasn’t enough to convince her. Neither was childhood Justine telling her she’d fit the part because she was old.
Grandpa bought us a tape recorder and what’s left of our small voices on it is Corey and I duetting the entire soundtrack of High School Musical. Since I was a grade ahead of him, using the chalkboard in the playroom, I’d excitedly teach him all the things I’d learned whenever we’d play school. I was always the teacher, though, in hindsight I should have let him be. Maybe then I would have been taught humility.
I like to think Corey and I fought like siblings, but when I was very little, Corey and I fought the most. The worst he ever did to me, despite me being nastier to him, was throw an empty pop can at my head when I wouldn’t give a light up, toy Lord of the Rings sword back to him. Even though I swear to this day I felt like that soda can was full, I’d still live that day over again to have another day with him.
As adults, I know our battles growing up were forgiven because of what a loyal part Corey became through some of the hardest parts of my adult life. So loyal that he still even supported my career choices perusing tattooing. He put a lot of faith in me when he let me tattoo homages of one of his favorite video games on him. One of them is the phrase, “Keelah se’lai” which means, “by the home world I hope to see one day,” and “peace be with you.” He entrusted me to alter his body permanently and, though, not all my efforts were Ink Master material, he’ll have a permanent place in my heart for letting me do so.
Corey and I were those relatives that our grandma would put in the tub together. I would have repressed it too, but Corey never failed to annually flash all of us before diving off the deck into Grandma’s pool that we whirl pooled like everyone wishes they could. Even more unforgettable was that Corey had the whitest butt we’d ever seen.
Like myself though, Corey also enjoyed taking baths. One night, Corey escaped to take a bath mid get together with a lot of our friends having to use the restroom while he was in there. I admired his candor so much as behind closed curtains, he still enjoyed each of our companies as we took turns using the restroom. I’ll remember his goofiness that reflects so deeply in myself. I’ll remember his laugh that is recognizable anywhere which I had the privilege to hear a million times. We got into far too many shenanigans growing older which led many of you into Corey’s life too.
On another occasion, Corey escaped to the bathroom never to return. After several attempts of people trying to use the restroom, it dawned on us that he’d locked himself in there purposely. Priding myself on my ability to pick locks, using a nail I was able to unlock the door. In an empty tub, fully clothed, Corey was asleep. So that was when I rescued him. In a low point in my life, in a horrible state of mind, Corey told me, “You just have to find that bridge that anchors you to reality,” and that was when Corey rescued me.
Corey had such a light in him. In anyone’s darkest times, he always knew exactly what to say to pull them back to the light. He shocked me constantly with his wisdom. Another example of the student teaching the teacher. By remembering that spark he never let die from his heart, whenever the darkness fills our own for all the time we wish we still had, I hope will be enough to bring us back to the light.
When Corey had anything to give, he gave. When he had nothing, he always had plenty to be grateful for. He was so wholehearted and had so much dignity for the people he loved. He always found a way to treasure the littlest milestones of his life and I never told him, I was always proud of him.
He was more than a best friend, relative, brother, or even a girlfriend when I needed it. He was an adventurer, an actor, a LARPer, a story-teller, a comedian, a believer in the most unbelievable things, a shoulder to cry on, a diver, and a sensei.
My hope for all of us is to remember how the life we are given can shape us for the better and to shape the people around us for the better. That’s the legacy he would have wanted for us.
Keelah Se’lai.
Peace be with you,
By the home world I hope to see one day,
when I’ll be home again with Corey.
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